Hey everyone, long time no speak - I'm quite bad at slacking on my blog but along with my Youtube channel going well this year I would also like to keep this updated as much as possible so you can read a bit more about any video that I have recently uploaded!
So recently I made a video telling you guys about how over the years being on no carbs has effected my relationship with food and outlook on life generally, good and bad. I touch on some things in the video but I just wanted to go into a bit more detail about how losing weight has really effected my confidence and self esteem.
People that know me personally know me to be a very bubbly, confident and outgoing character but like many, this can be used as a front to sway from any real problems going on within that person. It's really common for the 'fat kid' to be funny in school, they cover their insecurities with humour so people like them for personality and forget the way they look. In some ways this is how I got through most of my teenage years. As a kid and right through to my teens I loved performing and acting, looking back now it only seems to makes sense that it was to use this as a means to become someone completely different other than myself, I could essentially become anyone I wanted to be.
After decided to do something about my weight in March 2011, the confident Danica became to show after the weight started shedding away - I felt so capable of so much more in my life, from school like to meeting new people and doing new things. The whole distraction of obsessing about how bad I looked was finally slipping away and I beginning to like what I saw in the mirror. More weight was lost and more confidence was revealed, this was the most happiest I had ever been before - people were praising me constantly and they sense of achievement I felt was non I had felt before!
I can't remember specifically when things started getting obsessive but I remember brief conversations with people I'd rather not name that still would put me down about my weight. When you have come so far from something that effected your life for so long and someone tried to question you on your achievement it brings out a side of you that I personally had never seen in me before - it's hard to explain if you have never experienced it - but you honestly will go to extremes to not become that person they are teasing you that you will become again.
Me and my friends had organised our first girl's holiday to Croatia in 2012 and I can remember up until then is when I got the worst, the pressure of finding out A Level results and the idea of moving away from home for uni was obviously subconsciously putting a lot of stress on myself and since going on No Carbs I really always found it as a way to control my life. When everything else was not in my control I could always be strict with my eating and this would make me feel everything was ok and not completely falling apart around me. Till this day I am still guilty of this bad habit, and it's more of a problem with other things in my life including lack of self esteem and bad anxiety issues that prevent me from controlling this.
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